Being a parent is scary stuff...

Dominick had another "episode" this morning. I literally had 9-1-1 on the phone. I was in tears and terrified...

Let me start from the beginning...

I worked over night last night. I got home this morning at about 7:45 am. Nick had to leave by 6:15 so Nick's mom was over until I got home. Both kids were still sleeping when I got home. After she left I climbed into bed for about a 10 minute nap until Annabelle woke up. It was really rainy and yucky this morning so I had already decided to just keep both kids at home today instead of bringing Dom in to Stella's.

When Dom woke up, he was unusually crabby. Just whiny and crabby and crying and you name it.

I tried calming him down and asking if he wanted to stay home with me and sissy today. He replied, "NOoooooo!". So I said, "Ok. Would you like to go to Ms. Stella's today?" and I got another "NOOOooooo!!". After talking for a few minutes and getting nothing but screams and whines, I told him I'd be downstairs when he was ready to talk and get up, or if he wanted to lay back down that was fine too.

He started screaming. SCREAMING. At first I just let him do it, but then I got annoyed. He's been going through some real bad days lately and we don't know what is going on. I'm thinking it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm gone a LOT right now (and unfortunately that won't get any better until NEXT December). Anyway, I had made up my mind that he was going to go to Ms. Stella's because I hadn't slept in over a day and I wouldn't be able to handle the screaming all day long, plus he loves going to Stella's, it just takes him a little time to get there in the morning.

When I went upstairs, he was hyperventilating at this point. Couldn't catch a breath and was trying to talk but stuttering the whole time while crying and gasping for air. At first I was calm. I picked him up (and this is where he started flailing his arms and kicking me) and tried to get him to breathe. He wouldn't breathe. Then his eyes started rolling back and he was gasping louder and his whole body was shaking.

When you're faced with a situation that you don't fully grasp at the time it's hard to say what you might do...reading this now, it's like 'of course, just call 9-1-1 or the on-call pediatrician'. But you don't know what you'll do and I did what I always do when I don't know what to do...I called my mom. She and my dad both got on the phone and they could hear him. They both said to do the same thing. My dad said, "Get those kids in the car and GO to the doctor. Your mother will meet you there and if you have to, CALL 9-1-1!!". So I got off the phone and ran in to get Annabelle in her seat.

At this point Dom was looking at me but still hyperventilating a bit and not calming down.

As I started toward Annabelle, I ran back to Dom because I was honestly afraid of letting him out of my sight. I thought he was having a seizure or something.

I finally got him to calm down while putting shoes on and he even took a deep breath and looked at me. I asked him if he wanted to go to the doctor and he said no very directly (both kids had flu shots done last week at the doc so that is very fresh in his mind). So I asked him if he could take a deep breath. At this point I'm still 100% sure I'm taking him in, but wanted to see if he could calm down on his own.

He did take a deep breath. And then he looked at me and smiled. For the first time, I smiled. Then he looked me straight in the eye and said,

"I love you Mama. Can I watch Bob the Builder now? And I want some juice".

Well OK. I guess you're ok!

I called my parents back and told them to sit tight and I'd keep them posted, but he had no signs of barely being able to breathe just a few moments ago and he had no signs of a stroke or any oxygen depletion so I was going to let him sit and see what happens.

The kid was all smiles watching Bob the Builder. He gave ME a heart attack, but he's perfectly fine.

No matter what, you can't prepare yourself for being a parent. As he was gasping and I was dialing 9-1-1, I had these horrible images flashing through my head. Your child is your life. You'd do anything to protect them and lessen their pain.

I had no idea what I signed up for when I decided to have my 2 babies. I don't regret it. Not for one tiny second. In fact, I'd do it again gladly, and I hope I get that opportunity. Every scary minute, every hard day, it's totally worth it. Ten Fold.

But being a parent is scary stuff.