To the parents of small children...

A friend posted this on facebook today and I love this. It's very very true. For me at least. I love reading the section where he says, "you are not a terrible parent if..." because sometimes these little joys that I get to be the mommy to just plain drive me crazy. I like knowing that I'm not the only one out there and that if I do some of these things, I'm not a terrible parent.

So read on!

I am in a season of my life right now where I feel bone-tired almost all of the time. Ragged, how-am-I-going-to-make-it-to-the-end-of-the-day, eyes burning exhausted.
I have three boys ages 5 and under. I'm not complaining about that. Well, maybe I am a little bit. But I know that there are people who would give anything for a house full of laughter and chaos. I was that person for years and years; the pain of infertility is stabbing and throbbing and constant. I remember allowing hope to rise and then seeing it crash all around me, month after month, for seven years. I am working on another post about infertility that will come at a later date.
But right now, in my actual life, I have three boys ages 5 and under. There are many moments where they are utterly delightful, like last week, when Isaac told my sister-in-law that, "My daddy has hair all over." Or when Elijah put a green washcloth over his chin and cheeks, and proudly declared, "Daddy! I have a beard just like you!" Or when Ben sneaks downstairs in the morning before the other boys do, smiles at me, and says, "Daddy and Ben time."
But there are also many moments when I have no idea how I'm going to make it until their bedtime. The constant demands, the needs and the fighting are fingernails across the chalkboard every single day.
One of my children is for sure going to be the next Steve Jobs. I now have immense empathy for his parents. He has a precise vision of what he wants -- exactly that way and no other way. Sometimes, it's the way his plate needs to be centered exactly to his chair, or how his socks go on, or exactly how the picture of the pink dolphin needs to look -- with brave eyes, not sad eyes, daddy! He is a laser beam, and he is not satisfied until it's exactly right.
I have to confess that sometimes, the sound of his screaming drives me to hide in the pantry. And I will neither confirm nor deny that while in there, I compulsively eat chips and/or dark chocolate.
There are people who say this to me:
"You should enjoy every moment now! They grow up so fast!"
I usually smile and give some sort of guffaw, but inside, I secretly want to hold them under water. Just for a minute or so. Just until they panic a little.
If you have friends with small children -- especially if your children are now teenagers or if they're grown -- please vow to me right now that you will never say this to them. Not because it's not true, but because it really, really doesn't help.
We know it's true that they grow up too fast. But feeling like I have to enjoy every moment doesn't feel like a gift, it feels like one more thing that is impossible to do, and right now, that list is way too long. Not every moment is enjoyable as a parent; it wasn't for you, and it isn't for me. You just have obviously forgotten. I can forgive you for that. But if you tell me to enjoy every moment one more time, I will need to break up with you.
If you are a parent of small children, you know that there are moments of spectacular delight, and you can't believe you get to be around these little people. But let me be the one who says the following things out loud:
You are not a terrible parent if you can't figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend's children do. She's obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.
You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they'd be put in prison.
You are not a terrible parent if you can't figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.
You are not a terrible parent if you'd rather be at work.
You are not a terrible parent if you just can't wait for them to go to bed.
You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.
You're not a terrible parent.
You're an actual parent with limits. You cannot do it all. We all need to admit that one of the casualties specific to our information saturated culture is that we have sky-scraper standards for parenting, where we feel like we're failing horribly if we feed our children chicken nuggets and we let them watch TV in the morning.
One of the reasons we are so exhausted is that we are oversaturated with information about the kind of parents we should be.
So, maybe it's time to stop reading the blogs that tell you how to raise the next president who knows how to read when she's 3 and who cooks, not only eats, her vegetables. Maybe it's time to embrace being the kind of parent who says sorry when you yell. Who models what it's like to take time for yourself. Who asks God to help you to be a better version of the person that you actually are, not for more strength to be an ideal parent.
So, the next time you see your friends with small children with that foggy and desperate look in their eyes, order them a pizza and send it to their house that night. Volunteer to take their kids for a few hours so they can be alone in their own house and have sex when they're not so tired, for heaven's sake. Put your hand on their shoulder, look them in the eyes, and tell them that they're doing a good job. Just don't freak out if they start weeping uncontrollably. Most of the time, we feel like we're botching the whole deal and our kids will turn into horrible criminals who hate us and will never want to be around us when they're older.
You're bone-tired. I'm not sure when it's going to get better. Today might be a good day or it might be the day that you lost it in a way that surprised even yourself.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
You're not alone. 

Here's the link to read the post that I got this from. 

One extreme to the other

So here's the deal. I'm not that neat. I don't like things DIRTY but I can handle clutter (while Nick on the other hand can NOT handle clutter). Nick's been on me for awhile (how many years have we been married now?) to turn that around and really work on that. Easier said than done. But now I think he fixed me too well.

I spent a few days last week going nuts and cleaning around the house.

Here are some pics of the work I did:

BEFORE picture of the basement. YIKES!

AFTER of the new "Play Area" for the kids.

View over to the "adult area" of the basement.

Another view. Yay! Floor space!

BEFORE picture of my cluttered kitchen eating area.

AFTER. Yay!

Living room.

Dining Room.

Dominick and Annabelle's room (Yes, those are labels on the dressers. Dom likes to pick out his own clothes and this makes it easier for him).

View of Annabelle's crib and bookshelf.

View of floor space basically (we moved the toy rack thingy downstairs).

Dom and Annabelle's crib together. They sleep side by side now basically. 

Anyway, all those pictures were showing you the work I did and how now I'm crazy. The whole basement has to be picked up before we can go to bed. All dishes have to be done and all clutter off the countertops before bed. If Nick leaves something out, I'm quick to glare at him and then pick it up. The floor gets swept every day and the basement vacuumed every other day. I'm crazy. I'm not saying this will last forever, but I'm not sure which is worst. Someone who doesn't care about clutter, or something who is crazy and won't let you leave anything out...Poor Nick. 

Be careful what you wish for!!

~ ~ ChAnGeS ~ ~

So many things are changing around our house!! And I Love it!!

First, I PASSED BOARDS!!! I'm now officially a licensed RN and can't wait to start working as an RN. Unfortunately they canceled June orientation at the hospital so I have to wait until July, but hey, I passed and I have a job, so I can't complain too much.

Second, Nick has a new job!! He moved to a new company and we are both thrilled about it! He's going to be running a big job and he's really nervous but I think, no I know! he's going to be fantastic.

Third, we are cleaning up our house!! We always go back and forth on whether or not we want to stay in the city or move back to the county. I figure we should just pretend that we are going to move so we get our house nice and fixed up and if we want to move we will be ready and if we don't, well our house will be nice and fixed up! So we are starting with some landscaping in the back. We will eventually get to the front but are starting with the back. It looks great already and we're just starting!

We dug up all the old grass weeds in one section of the back and relaid some sod. Then we dug up all the old plants in the flower bed and I'm planting new flowers and some hosta plants. I love it already. Next we'll dig up the rest of the weeds and resod the rest of the backyard. We are fixing up the parking pad too. Right now it's just the old parking pad but Nick's running pipe to add lights outside and make it a nice outdoor space. After that we'll finally redo the deck and be DONE with the back!!

I plan on redoing the front too, which won't be near as much work. Just digging up some old grass and planting some new flowers. Then our landscaping will be beautiful!!

Ahhh I'm so happy right now with everything we've been doing and I can't wait to do more! It's amazing how much time I have when I don't have to do homework or study!!

Happy Weekend!!

It's been awhile since we've been off and actually been able to do things around the house!! I think we have plans to do some yard work and I'm really excited about it!

Our yard is a COMPLETE disaster. It's disgusting really. But with a little TLC, it could be nice!

So that is MY plan. We'll see what really happens but as of now, that's my Memorial Day goal.

Happy Holiday weekend everyone and be safe!

New Approach to food

I was talking to my sister on Saturday night and she was telling me about something she is trying for her and her family. Well, maybe her kids are doing it?? At least she and her husband are doing it. It's a new approach to eating and food in general. It's supposed to make you feel better and make the most of your meals, while lowering cholesterol, etc.

So I'm trying it.

You eat vegan for 2 meals a day (usually breakfast and lunch) and you can eat whatever you want for dinner. Also, you eliminate all processed foods.

It's tough! But I did it yesterday and I really did feel better and I liked it. So I'm back trying it today. I had some oatmeal that I made (not instant, but rolled oats) and some raisins for breakfast. Right now I'm enjoying a soy latte too. Then for lunch I'll do some salad I believe. Then I'll get to do whatever I want for dinner.

This is the kind of "diet" I like. No counting, no looking up calories, carbs, etc. Not too restrictive either because you can eat whatever you want for dinner. Or one meal a day, whichever you choose I guess.

So here we go. My sister has already lost 10 lbs doing this and I would like to lose about 25 so let's see how this goes!!

This idea is from Mark Bittman, a food author that my sister loves. I have one of his cookbooks "How to Cook Everything" and I love it. Here's the article describing this approach to eating.

I can totally do this for 2 meals a day... :) 

Back to school??

Not yet obviously, but I started looking at some MSN programs (Masters of Science in Nursing) and there is a decently priced program at UMSL...It would be part time for 3 years and literally only cost me $2,000 total. TOTAL. (They offer tuition reimbursement where I work so that is clearly factored in).

So that definitely has me thinking...I'd love to have my masters. Maybe after working for a year I'll have to go back and get my masters. Then I'd have my Nurse Practitioner by the time I'm 33. Not too shabby for someone who went back to their BSN as their second degree...

But for now I suppose I'll just focus on passing boards and starting my RN job at BJH. :)

Antibiotics...

It's never a dull moment at our house!! All three kids are taking amoxicillin now. We went to the pediatrician on Wednesday because Gretch has been pulling at her ears and Dom said his throat hurt. Dom had a throat culture done and tested positive for strept. Then Gretchen had her ears looked at and she has redness in one and lots of fluid in the other. So they both got started on antibiotics. Then they swabbed Annabelle just to be sure. She was negative. Then I got a lovely phone call yesterday saying that the swab for Annabelle that they sent off to the lab came back positive. So she got started on antibiotics too.

So two cases of strept and one double ear infection. Right on.

At least I can start them all on meds at the same time and be pretty confident that as soon as one is over it, they won't give it to another. That's what happened with the dreaded pink eye a few months back. And at Schnucks amoxicillin is free. So that's nice too...

Oh well. Here we go. Now let's just pray that none of them end up allergic to amoxicillin!