Thursday, September 27, 2012

Now that I'm not pregnant anymore, I have no excuses. I have to get back into shape and work towards my goal of reaching my goal weight! I don't plan on getting pregnant again for AWHILE so now is the perfect time to get my booty into gear and start eating better and working out again. My doctor said I can start walking but no running yet. But I can work my way up to running. So I'm going to do just that. I'm going to start off by walking just a bit each day. And I'll walk while carrying Gretchen in the Baby Bjourn so I'll be carrying a little extra weight. :)

I'm also using to record everything I eat and everything I do. I was using it before I realized I was pregnant and I like the site. I really love weight watchers but I can't afford that right now so I'll try this for a bit and if I can't get it to work, then I might need to cut something else out of my life so I can rejoin!

I'm at a decent weight right now for me so I just need to keep going with it.

So many goals to reach before I'm 30! I WILL reach this one. :)

Gretchen's Stay in the NICU

While we were in the hospital, we had a bad day where Gretchen had to go to the NICU. It was my first postpartum night and I went to bed thinking they would bring Gretchen in about 2:30 am to eat. I woke up on my own at 2:45 and was wondering where she was. I called my nurse who came in to give me meds and she told me that she'd call the nursery. She came back in to tell me that the baby's nurse was on her way in. I assumed this meant she was on her way in to give me Gretchen to eat.

I was wrong.

She came in and told me that she thought Gretchen looked a little "dusky" and hooked her up to an O2 monitor. You want your oxygen saturation levels to be in the high 90's. Anything about 94 is really good though. Gretchen was in the mid 80s. Not so good. She also told me that while checking her vitals, she thought she detected a heart murmur. So she called the NICU nurse practitioner. She came in and told me that they were going to try feeding her a little formula and keeping her on the O2 monitor and see what her oxygen levels did while eating. If they were high, she'd stay in the full term nursery. If they dipped, she'd go to the NICU. They'd come back in an hour.

So I waited. I drifted in and out of sleep while waiting, sure that they'd come back and say she was fine and be back with me.

Wrong again.

They came back at 3:30 am and told me that her oxygen levels dropped too low and she was indeed going to the NICU. They brought her in for me to say goodbye and I cried. They told me it was mainly precautionary and she should be back with me by mid morning. They also said I should come down around 6 am to feed her if I wanted to continue nursing. They also recommended that I pump since I didn't feed her at 2:30.

Then they took her.

I pumped and went to bed for about an hour. My alarm went off at 5:30. I called my nurse to get my pain meds and anything else I might need and asked for a ride down to the NICU. They brought me down, got me an ID badge, and taught me the ropes. They taught me how and where to scrub in. They showed me which POD Gretchen was in (the elephant POD). And they showed me my baby.

The nurse was very nice. She told me that she'd be back upstairs by 10 am. I felt better but not great. It's not fun to have your baby taken away the day after she's born to go to an intensive care unit. Even if it is precautionary and mainly for observation. It's scary and sad to not get to hold her whenever you want.

One thing that is interesting is every baby is hooked up to a monitor. Now each baby is being monitored for different things. Gretchen was being monitored for O2 saturation, heart rate and respiratory rate. If another baby had something drop below a certain level (HR below a certain number or respiratory rate lower than normal) an alarm will go off in every room so that the nurses will know where to go and how quickly they need to respond. There were a few rooms that always went off. Since I'm in nursing school I've learned a lot about "normals" for vital signs and reading heart monitor EKG's, etc. Some of those babies are fighting really hard for their lives and I'm so thankful that Gretchen isn't one of those babies and I'm saying many prayers for those babies that are fighting.

Even though Gretchen wasn't having to fight like those other babies, I still didn't like her being in the NICU.

I especially didn't like all the wires attached to her. But the NICU team was great.

I spent the next full day coming down for one hour every three hours. It killed me to leave her but I was exhausted and needed to go up to eat. My Dad came and visited us. So did my Mom. Later that night, Nick was finally able to come up. We all just kept waiting for them to tell me she could come back upstairs. 

Around 7 pm, the nurse and on call doctor told me she could come back upstairs but it would be awhile because a baby was just admitted who wasn't doing well and they needed as many people as possible to help with him. I completely understood that. Just the knowledge that my baby was doing better and could come back up was good enough for me.

Nick brought me dinner and we ate and I went back down to the NICU to wait for Gretchen to be able to come up. Well at 10, then told me I should go upstairs and they would bring her up when the full term nursery was ready. I listened.

Around 11 pm, I called the NICU and asked why she still wasn't up. They said the full term nursery hadn't accepted her yet. So I called the nursery. They said the NICU hadn't called yet. I asked them to call the NICU and straighten this out because I wanted my baby!

By 11:45 pm, Gretchen was back upstairs with me. Right where she belonged!

It was a long day. I'm glad they were cautious and checked her out. I didn't want her to be left upstairs and something really bad happen, but I hated having her gone. You only get 2 days in the hospital when you delivery vaginally and one of those days was her in the NICU. It made me sad, but she's happy and healthy now and that's all that matters!

We are so in love with our baby girl!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

♥ Gretchen's Birth Story ♥

What an experience!! Gretchen's birth story is so different from the other kids and it was amazing. (After delivery was a little rough but the delivery of Gretchen was perfect).

I worked over the weekend and was still contracting on and off and wasn't sure how I'd feel on Monday, my first day off in a few days. But I actually felt great on Monday. I was getting so much work done! I was cleaning and organizing and doing laundry and basically just nesting all day long. I felt fantastic. As I was working, I remember thinking 'I should probably slow down so I don't go into labor', and then I remembered that the next day was my 37 week appointment where my doctor was going to strip my membranes to try and put me into labor so I decided to keep going if I felt up to it.

When Nick got home, we loaded up the truck and the Durango with stuff we were giving to my parents and getting out of our house. I went and got Annabelle from Stella's and Nick went and got Dom from school and we got on our way to my Mom and Dad's for Monday night dinners. Annabelle and I were cruising and doing fine until about the Grand Ave exit on highway 70. I remember exactly where I was because I got a contraction. And it HURT. It wasn't like the other contractions that were tight and 'kind of' hurt but it hurt. Out of nowhere. I looked at the clock and it said 5:12. It passed and we kept driving and then I felt fine.

Then I got another one. Again, it HURT. I had to breathe through it already. I looked at the clock and it said 5:16. I was curious but thinking, this could just be random. So again, I just kept driving. This happened two more times, exactly 4 minutes apart. So I decided to call Nick. Just to give him the heads up.

I called him and told him, "Just FYI. I might be going into labor right now. I'm having contractions every 4 minutes and they are painful. Just warning you." He kind of laughed at me and said, "Whatever". Then I called my parents. I gave my mom the same warning and told her we were on our way but if we had to go to the hospital, could she watch the kids. She said that was fine.

When we got to my parents I was still contracting every 3-4 minutes and they were painful. I tried to do all the things they say to distinguish true from false labor. I went to the bathroom. I drank a lot of water. I walked around. They weren't going away. They were getting more painful. I decided to give myself two hours. I let Nick eat dinner and then I realized we had to get going. The contractions were now every 2-3 minutes and still extremely painful. At 7:15 we headed for the car.

We gave the kids kisses and got in the car. We got to Mercy hospital around 7:30. They checked us in and one of the nurses decided to check if I was dilated. We went into a small room and I got into a gown and she said I was 1 cm and 90% effaced. At the hospital the previous weekend I was 1 cm and 50% effaced. She said they would put me in the women's evaluation unit for one hour and check me again. If I didn't make any change, they would try and stop the contractions and send me home.

So Nick and I settled in for the next hour. There was a football game on so we got comfortable (or as comfortable as I could get) and we waited. I was hooked to the monitors and we could see I was contracting every 2 minutes still. At 9 pm, the same nurse that checked me originally came in and checked me. I was now 3 cm and 90% effaced. So I got admitted.

They started an IV and had me sign papers. I sent Nick home to get my labor bag that had my clothes, glasses and most importantly, our camera. While I was signing papers, the nurse said, "So you are a repeat c-section, right?" and I told her, "No. My doctor and I have talked about it and he has agreed to let me try to VBAC". She seemed ok with it and she left to call Labor and Delivery and get me a new room. A few minutes later, she came in and told me the on call doctor was on the phone and wanted to talk to me. My doctor is Dr. W. I love him and we have a good relationship. He listens and talks to me like an adult and we get along well. The on call doctor was Dr. M. I don't like Dr. M. She talks down to people as if they are stupid and she's not respectful. She's the doctor that delivered Dominick. She called me Angela the whole time. She annoyed me from the beginning. I say this because Dr. M was the one on the phone. She was not happy with me.

I got on the phone and she immediately started digging into me. She did NOT want me to attempt a VBAC. She started going on and on about statistics about how I could rupture and hemorrhage and die and the baby would die and since I've never delivered vaginally the odds of me being able to do it were so low and on and on and on. I understand that there is a risk and she needs me to sign papers saying that I understand that so there's nothing on her if something did happen, but the manner in which she did it was completely inappropriate. After telling me I couldn't do it and I was going to kill my baby, I flat out said to her, "Dr. M, I realize that I had this birth plan with Dr. W. and not you and you are the on call doctor. If you are really uncomfortable with me trying to VBAC then let's talk about what you want me to do and go from there". She replied, "I honestly don't care what you do. We'll just see what happens." and then she hung up.

I was so upset. I'm contracting PAINFULLY every 2 minutes, Nick isn't here, I'm alone in a room, and a doctor is telling me that I'm going to kill my baby. I started to cry. When my nurse came in the room to move me to Labor and Delivery, I asked if there was any way to call my doctor so I could talk to him. She said she would send in the charge nurse and we could talk.

I got to Labor and Delivery and the charge nurse and chief resident came in. They told me that they understood I was upset but I only had two options. Let Dr. M deliver the baby or "fire" her and the entire practice and be treated as a walk in and not get to see my doctor after delivery or any part of my stay. I didn't want to fire the whole practice so I elected to let Dr. M deliver the baby. They told me that my doctor was on call the next morning and would be in at 7 am so if I delivered after 7, I would get my doctor. I told her I would try and wait until 7!

At that point, I was in a lot of pain. The nurse asked if I wanted my epidural. I said, YES PLEASE! The nurse anesthetist came in and started my epidural. It was painful to be completely honest. She had to give me numbing medicine three times because I could feel it so bad. I had tears running down my face. I was questioning if I could VBAC because just the epidural hurt so bad! But after the third dose of numbing medicine, the epidural was in and I had access to that magic button. Then I felt great.

The nurse checked me again at 10ish and I was 6 cm. I was moving right along. The nurse (who was amazing) had me laying on my side with my opposite leg up on a "peanut ball". It was a peanut shaped ball to help my pelvis open and help my cervix dilate (at least that's what the nurse told me). It was apparently working! Dr. M doesn't believe in foley catheters so she wanted them to do a straight cath every once in awhile to empty my bladder. Around 11:30, I felt a huge gush of something. I called the nurse and asked her to see if my water broke or if I peed on myself because I felt a gush but couldn't feel my legs. This is when things got a little scary for me. If you have a weak stomach, skip ahead a bit. :)

The nurse checked me and said my water was still intact and called another nurse in to double check. The second nurse that checked me told me that I was 6-7 cm but 100% effaced and had a bulging bag. She then asked me to cough to see if fluid escaped when coughing. I coughed and blood shot out. My water hadn't broken, I was passing big blood clots. I started freaking out. They told me it was normal. My cervix was dilating so fast and it was normal to bleed a lot. But they wanted to keep a close eye on me.

At midnight, a new resident came in to check on me. He told me I was  8 cm and at +1 station. I was getting close! He left and told me he'd be back in an hour. At 12:30 I hit my call light and told my nurse I felt another gush and a lot of pressure. She looked and I had a lot more blood coming. She reassured me this was normal with how fast I was dilating and told me that I'd feel pressure as I got closer but the doctor just checked me and I had some time left and to try and relax. I tried to relax, but I felt pressure. I asked her to call the doctor back in. He came in at 12:45 and checked me. He was shocked but told me that I was fully dilated, fully effaced and now at +2 station. He went to go call Dr. M and told them to do practice pushing with me.

We started my practice pushing and I was doing ok. They called the NICU team (which is standard if you are delivering before 37 weeks and I was 36 weeks and 5 days at this point). They told me to try and wait for the doctor before pushing again. Well I didn't realize it but it hurts to try and wait to push! I kept telling her, I really need to push, I'm in pain. I was hitting my epidural button a lot at this point!

When the doc finally got there I was ready to have this baby! I only had to push through 2 contractions and Gretchen was here at 1:45 am on Tuesday, September 11, 2012. The resident was telling me how great I did when Nick leaned over and just said "It's a girl...". His face was priceless. He was SO shocked. I know he was "sure" that this was a baby boy and the fact that it was a baby girl was startling to him.

It was amazing. The experience is SO much different from a c-section. I felt so empowered. So proud. Everyone told me I couldn't do it but I did. And it went perfectly. Smoothly. Beautifully. And Gretchen is perfect. So perfect.

She was screaming immediately. The NICU team joked around that her lungs were fine with all that screaming and they didn't need to be there. They checked her out completely (her APGAR's were 9 and 9) and cleaned her up. They weighed her (8 lbs 2 oz) and then gave her to Nick.

I got fixed up (which took forever I thought) and I finally was able to hold my baby girl. We didn't have a name at this point yet. I was still thinking Emmeline and Nick was thinking Gretchen. We kind of debated back and forth. Then Nick pointed out that while Emmeline was unique, Emmy, Emma, Emily, Em and all those nicknames were pretty popular. I wanted our baby girl's name to be her own and I've never liked really popular names. Nothing against them, but they weren't my taste. I like names that are known, but not super trendy. Nick was right. Gretchen was our baby girl's name.

There's more to this story that comes later, but this is enough for her birth story. Everything worked exactly the way I wanted it to. I was able to VBAC (VBA2C actually!) and up until she was out I still had NO real idea if she was a he or a she. Everything was great. And Gretchen is healthy and happy and I'm so in love. I can't believe that we have a family of FIVE now.

Welcome to the world baby Gretchen Suzanne! We love you so much and are so happy you are finally here, our beautiful surprise baby!

Gretchen Suzanne
September 11, 2012 at 1:45 am
8 lb. 2 oz.
20" long

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Coming Soon!

When I have a second (no promises on when that will be but I'm hoping tonight or tomorrow) I have a lot of updating to do! :)

Gretchen Suzanne was born on Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 1:45 am. She was 8 lbs 2 oz and 20" long. I was able to successfully VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and we are thrilled. I want to write about my birth experience, Gretchen's stay in the NICU (don't worry, she's fine and home with the family where she belongs!), Dom and Annabelle's reactions, construction on the wall, our adjustments at home, her 1 week appointment, everything!

But for now, I have to go and clean to get the room ready for the wall (construction is starting whether I'm ready or not and I'd rather be ready!).

Here's a quick pic to hold you over until I can fully update.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Happy Anniversary!!!

I guess I could take a second and mention that my wedding anniversary was yesterday.

Nick and I have been married for 6 years. HOLY COW! 6 years. It doesn't seem that long ago, honestly.

And I truly can't believe that just six years after saying 'I do' we'll have 3 children. THREE. That means we are outnumbered. Yikes!

It has been an amazing six years though. We've gotten to do so much and we are still so happy. We've gone on trips (Mexico, Chicago, Las Vegas, Park City, Gulf Shores, Disney in Orlando, etc), we bought a house and have done some big construction (re-finished the basement, re-did the bathroom, built Dominick and now Annabelle's room, knocked out a wall to enlarge our kitchen, and coming soon, making the new baby's room!), I went back to school and changed careers (accounting to nursing - big change!), and we've done all these things with each other 100% supporting the other and having the time of our lives doing it.

This past year has been tough. VERY tough. Me getting a new job and going back to school and not making much money and not being home a lot has been hard. But Nick hasn't really ever complained about it. At least not to me. Which I'm surprised by and super impressed with. It can be easy to just get frustrated that he's bringing home 95% of the bacon and taking care of the kids 85% on his own. But he's done it and even quizzed me for tests along the way. He's amazing.

In just a few short months, this journey will be over. I'll be done with school and working a more normal schedule and home to help with the kids almost every night. But the journey that Nick and I get to take together will continue and I'm so excited about that. What will the next chapter bring as we are a family of five? I can't wait to find out. I picked the best partner to do this with and I'm lucky enough that he wanted me as well.

Happy 6 year anniversary Nick! I'm confident that since we've gotten through this past year, we can get through anything. These last 6 years have been perfect and I can't wait for MANY MANY more to come.

Comes and Goes

So my headaches and pains and overall discomforts are just coming and going. Sometimes I feel like a million bucks. Other times I just want to lay in bed all day long and cry. Right now I'm having a good morning. Headache is almost completely gone and I feel decent. But I'm fearing that my pounding headache and stomach pains aren't far behind. I just need this baby to come already!!

On Saturday I was looking up every home remedy to go into labor. EVERY home remedy. I'll mention the only one I actually tried was eating spicy foods and all that did was wake me up at 2 am with bad heartburn...

But by Sunday day I felt great. I was thinking that I can do this for a few more weeks! Then Sunday night the migraine set back in and I wanted to throw up everywhere. Now Monday morning, I feel pretty good again. I'm fearing what tonight may bring though.

Only a few more weeks. I can do it, but man I'm ready to meet this baby already!! Maybe not ready like at the house (no baby room, no crib set up, no clothes ready, etc) but physically: my body is READY!

Here's to hoping for a baby sooner rather than later!

Friday, September 7, 2012

Migraine and Contractions

I had my first ever migraine last was awful. I couldn't move. I couldn't have light on around me. I couldn't have noises around me. I wanted to throw up. It was just plain awful. I seriously don't know how people function like that if they have to go to work or anything. I just had to pick up my kids from my mother in law's and bring them to school and just doing that I thought I was going to explode.

I'm going to the store in a bit to get some things for home and for Dom's little trip, then I'm picking him up and bringing him to my mom and dad's work. Dom is a lucky lucky boy this weekend and gets to go with his Grandma and Grandpa to visit Aunt Angie, Uncle Andrew, Celia and Addie in Springfield! He is so excited.

After I drop him off, I'm headed to the doctor for an ultrasound to check growth and then my NST. And then I'll probably come home and climb into bed. I still feel pretty awful. I don't have a migraine anymore but I sure have a headache. It's just plain awful.

Last night I was also having contractions a lot. I literally was contracting every 3 minutes from 7:15 - 9:00 when I paged the on-call doc. Then when he called back at 9:20, they stopped. No more contractions at all. None. So I went to bed. Woke up at 10:00 pm with a contraction and then they came every 5 minutes until about 1:30 am. And then they stopped. And that's when the migraine kicked in. It was a long, bad, painful night.

I know I'm only 36 weeks 1 day but I'm done. This pain and all these contractions...I just can't handle it anymore. I'm done.

Only a few more weeks to go at the most!

Bring it on baby! Let's do this!

Thursday, September 6, 2012


Ok, so I actually got home on Tuesday afternoon but haven't had a free second until now to tell you!

I was released on Tuesday around noon and sent home basically the exact same as when I came in. I still have the severe abdominal pain. It's either a hiatal hernia (stomach pushes up through diaphragm) or an umbilical hernia (where abdominal lining pushes through near belly button). There's nothing to do about it while I'm pregnant and hopefully getting the baby out will be enough to fix it although surgery is always a possibility.

The main reason I was admitted was the contractions that wouldn't stop. I got sent home being told that I'm far enough along now that they won't stop it if it happens again. Which is silly to me. What did 3 days do? But I'm guessing those three days probably did a lot, so I won't complain and will just be thankful to be home.

I'm on modified bed rest while really means no bed at all. I'm just supposed to sit for the most part if possible. I can still work (thank goodness!) and I'm just supposed to take it easy until this baby comes. I think that is mainly to help control my pain (which there is a LOT) and doesn't really have much to do with the baby. But I'll try to keep my pain down any way I can, so sitting a lot sounds good to me!

I'm 36 weeks today and only one more week until I'm considered full term. I'm hoping to get to 37 weeks and then I think I'm ready. Although now that I've done the whole pre-term labor thing I'll probably wait and have to do my scheduled c-section on October 4th!

We shall see!!!

Monday, September 3, 2012


Not as in the place I work, but as in the place where I've been admitted and the place where I am stuck...

It all started Saturday morning. I was having severe pains in my abdomen and contractions pretty much all morning. I've been contracting for weeks so I wasn't overly concerned but I was keeping an eye on it. I started feeling better when it got closer to noon. I wanted to feel great because it was our baby sprinkle bbq at Jim and Leslie's and I wanted to feel good for it. By about 2 (when we were dropping the kids off at my parents) I was feeling decent. Not great but better than the morning.

We went to the shower (I mean, sprinkle) and had a fantastic time. Really an awesome time. We got to see friends we hadn't seen in forever. We were SHOWERED (not sprinkled) with love and diapers and we just had a lot of fun. The pain was there but mainly in the background the whole time. But when we got on the road, the pain was back and in full force. I was miserable the whole drive to my parent's house to get the kids. Miserable. Almost in tears. But we made it and we got the kids loaded up and headed home.

The whole drive home I was almost in tears. We got home, got the kids in bed and went to watch a little TV. I bailed on Nick right away to go upstairs to bed. I couldn't focus I was in so much pain. If I moved, there was shooting pain in my abdomen. If I took a deep breath, there was shooting pain in my abdomen. I also had a pounding headache that wouldn't go away with anything. I was downright miserable. I tried to sleep, honestly. But I couldn't. At 3:15am I was done. I couldn't stand it anymore. I woke Nick up and told him I was going to the hospital. He offered to come along but I wasn't sure what was going on and I didn't want to wake the kids up or anything. So I drove myself in.

I got to the Labor and Delivery unit at 4 am. They got me checked in and admitted and I was hooked to the monitors by about 4:30. The nurse was asking me lots of questions while I was getting settled and asked me if I was feeling any contractions. I told her no, I was just in constant pain. They started an IV, drew some blood, and took my vitals. Around 5 am, I told her I could feel contractions. Shortly after I started feeling them, they got stronger. And stronger. And my head was still pounding...

Around 5:30 or so, a resident came in and talked to me. I was contracting every 2-3 minutes at this point. She checked my cervix and said I was 1 cm, 50% effaced and at -2 station (goes from -5 to 5, 5 is when you are pushing the baby out). She started me on fluids and gave me medicine for my headache (which worked for about 4 hours, thank goodness) and told me she'd be back in an hour. Around 6:30, she came and checked me again and I was the same. So that was good. I was not in active labor but the contractions weren't stopping. And the other abdomen pain wasn't gonig away. She started me on procardia to stop the contractions, or hopefully stop the contractions.

My new nurse came on around 7:00 and had me sign all kinds of paperwork. I had already signed an admission form but with all the contractions, they had me sign a consent for a c-section, a consent for circumcision if I have a boy, consent for blood transfusion if I would hemorrhage. I started to get nervous. I called Nick and told him to come in when the kids got up. Then I called my parents and told them what was going on. I was getting a little worried.

Luckily Nick got there shortly and the contractions were spreading out. I don't remember the time, but the on-call doc came in to talk to us and gave us unexpected news. She told me that since the pain was constant and in the upper middle part of my abdomen that didn't seem to find any relief, she thought it was one of two things. 1) a hiatal hernia or 2) that my abdomen muscles (from c-sections and pregnancies in general) had stretched and were actually coming apart. Both of these things are very painful and neither have a least not until the baby comes and they can repair the problem. So she gave me two options. 1) Go home. Deal with the pain and maybe (probably) come back. or 2) Stay the night in antepartum. Let them do a trial and error on some pain meds and try to get me home in the morning.

I told her I wanted to talk to Nick about it. She left and Nick and I talked. I wanted to go home. But we were both afraid that I would get home and be in constant pain and end up coming back. So after a long talk, we decided I would stay. After a few hours, Nick left and then I got moved from Labor and Delivery to Antepartum. I had a nice afternoon. Stuck in bed but I had a TV and they give you a laptop to use while you are here and I felt ok. Still in a lot of pain, but ok since I was in good hands.

My mom came up to visit and that was nice. Even though I had only been in the hospital for a few hours, I was already lonely. So she stayed for a few hours and then she left. Nick came back up with the kids around 7:30 and that was kind of a disaster. :) The kids were hyper and crazy and couldn't stand being in a room and confined. So Nick only stayed for about 30 minutes. I told him to go home and I'd be home in the morning...

How wrong I was.

I received some pain meds and ambien to help me sleep and I slept great. I was feeling decent when I woke up this morning. Still in pain, but convinced I could handle it at home. I ordered breakfast and met my day nurse and was having a decent morning.

Then the contractions started again. And wouldn't stop. They put me on the monitor and I ate breakfast and waited for my doc. She came in and gave me the bad news. No way was she letting me home while contracting like this. So I got more procardia and told I would probably be spending the night. Again.

I'm not going to lie. I cried. I called my sister and cried. She talked to me for a bit and calmed me down. Then I called my parents and told them and I cried. They calmed me down, then I talked to Nick and told him, and I cried. I know it's what's best for me and the baby. I know that. But I want to go home. I want to be in my bed. I want to see my kids and my husband. And even that darn dog. :)

I'm trying to look at the brightside. While I'm here I have someone to help me with everything. I get to hear the baby's heartbeat twice a day. I get to order whatever food I want and someone brings it to me and then cleans up after me. Sounds pretty good right? I still miss my family and still want to be able to get up and walk around (I'm still on strict bedrest except to go to the bathroom).

I haven't had any contractions since the second dose of procradia. Hopefully I don't have any more and can go home tomorrow. I know I'll probably be on bedrest when I go home and I think I can handle that. I'm eager to talk to my actual doctor (I've only seen his colleague and not him yet) and see what he says. I know now that I probably won't get to VBAC. Especially if they are having to repair a hernia or separated muscles. No point in pushing a baby out and then having surgery anyway. But I'm wondering if he'll do the c-section early now that this is going on. If he does the c-section at 37 weeks, that's just a week from Thursday. I can handle bedrest until then. If he waits until 40 weeks, that's a month from tomorrow. Obviously I'll do whatever I have to do but would rather have this baby earlier than later.

Oh well. I know I'm in good hands and luckily we have wonderful family and friends. Hopefully Nick can get some help while I'm out of commission.

I'll let you know when I know more, but as for now, I'm holed up in the Antepartum unit waiting for those magic words that I get to go home. :)